It's Good to Remember
As we look back and remember we can be amazed where we can see good coming from bad situations.
I had forgotton how good it is to remember things! We can get so immersed in our day to day life with all it’s issues, demands and problems that we forget all the good things in the past.
I have been taking time to read through journals, notebooks and cards from years ago. I am not a fanatical diary keeper, but over the years I have jotted down key events, key thoughts and revelations, as well as questions. I have written about memorable holidays, special events, people and places. I have mentioned the beautiful camelia bought for me on my first Mother’s day as a mum. I write about the strength and support we had when my daughter was seriously ill. I write about standing on top of Mam Tor in the sun, looking down on the fog! It has been fascinating to look back and remember the highs and lows.
From the age of 10 I knew I wanted to be a doctor. I was fascinated by people and why they get ill, as well as being fascinated with how they get well again. Much of my learning has come from my own experiences rather than a medical textbook! I can look back and read about several years of frustration and struggle as I suffered and contended with fear, anxiety and depression. And I can read about the process of overcoming and reaching a place of freedom. I read about sick children and complicated pregnancies and the supernatural faith God gave me at the time. I read about the fear that came with heart rhythm problems and how I eventually chose to face the fear and to live rather than survive.
Then there are the questions and frustrations of medicine and Church with the feelings of being trapped in rules and regulations. I read about the process of realising that my faith is about relationship and not religion and that medicine is more than protocols and tick boxes. I write about the 4 years I spent not going to Church-a time when I met so many people who struggled with religious systems and feelings of failure. I learnt some valuable lessons at this time-that God is in the pub and the park, the shops and the schools, the buses and trams, the good and the bad. He is not confined in buildings and rules, and neither am I.
I am so grateful for freedom and life, for my health and faith, for family and friends. I appreciate the spring flowers and the crab apples to kick, the cherry blossom and the autumn leaves, the sun on my skin and the frost on a winter morning. I notice the kind words of a friend or the elderly man opening a door for me, the smile from the lady at the checkout and the gifted busker in town. When I choose to see with grateful eyes things change. It is good to remember.